Strangers - Silk Thread Growing Through the Glass Tube Bisecting the Abdomen of a Cecropia Moth Hatched in Captivity - DNA - Nothing Here.

If I could become
A stranger to this place
Once again
I would hide between the years
And live there
But in the present day
The entropy remains
Every time I find a home
I just want to run away

The way the sun hits
The corners of my room
It reminds me of a dream I had
Of a world where i was still afraid
But where I also belonged
Deep in the sunlit cracks
In the pavement
Sometimes, late at night
I look up the names
Of the things that were done to me
And I try to imagine them
Slithering through my blood
Coiled around my DNA

And on the bus to somewhere else
I felt like a wasted stray
Run away forget it all again
And disappear
Aching longing for a lifetime
From someone else's mind
Can I be someone else
And I leave this all behind?

The cold Vancouver rain
I don't know who to blame
For the hole
That I feel inside my brain
Is there a way to feel
Like I can be something
More than this
A rusted-out carcass
Of the dreams
That I still remember
Take me back
I want to know
What safety feels like

I was supposed to be a person
I was supposed to be
A fucking person
They asked me what I wanted to be
But I didn't know
I couldn't know
They made me forget
I still don't know
Sometimes I feel like a wasp egg
Parasitizing a beautiful insect
Hatching into a fungus,
A rare bird,
A silk thread that reaches
All the way up into the sky

There's nothing here for me
And I just keep staring at the sky
I hate everything I am
Oh god please let me die
I remember feeling something
Like hope before the end
I want to start again...

Why does everyone
Feel so far away?
I don't understand
What I am anymore.
And in the light
I can see myself
In a different life

It was so long ago
It was so long ago...

It was so long

Ago...