Clampetts Go To Maui - Clampetts Go To Maui Bit

I'll give you an idea of what kind of family mine is
This is a true story
About 9 or 10 months ago I did somethin' I had always wanted to do
I cashed in all my frequent flyer miles
I took everybody in my family to Hawaii, 13 people
Thinkin' this would be the vacation of a lifetime
It ended up bein' the Clampetts go to Maui!

Cuz you get my family together and there is an empty K-mart somewhere!
They showed up at the airport they were
Usin' coolers and grocery bags for luggage
The sky cap was like "which ones yours? the Samsonite?"
They were like,
"No we got the igloo with the duct tape on
It and the 5 Piggly Wiggly bags right there!"

At the ticket counter I asked my mother,
I said "mom would you like to sit next to the window?"
She goes "oh I better not, I just had my hair fixed."
And on the plane,
The movie they were showin' on the plane
Was Homeward Bound The Incredible Journey
5 minutes into this movie my brother turns to me
And goes, "You know that ain't them dogs real voice!"
My sister got mad, "well thanks for spoilin' it for everybody else!"

And we were stayin' right on the beach,
In fact the whales were migrating through
You could stand on the balcony and
Watch whales come up out of the water
First morning there,
My brothers out there goin' "man I
Wish I had a gun with a scope on it!"
"How much does it cost to mount a whale?! Anybody know?!"
I'd have to get a bigger trailer I'll tell ya that!

And you could tell which rooms were ours
Ours were the ones with the underwear hangin' off the rail!
According to the manager,
The sight of the only peeing for distance contest they had ever had!
Which I am ashamed to say my Aunt Rose won in the second round!
We are a classy bunch!