Paddy's Rubber Arm

Will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Rubber arm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Sure what's the harm!)

I confess I've got a terrible condition
I've had it since I was a lad of three
All me life it has doomed me to perdition
This rubber arm will be the death of me

It happens every time I go a-drinkin'
I swear I'll have the one and then I'll go
But when me friends insist
They give me wrist a twist
My rubber arm just won't let me say no

Oh will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Rubber arm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Sure, what's the harm!)

Now it's half-past ten and things are getting whiskey
I don't think I could face another jar
It's dire, it's drastic
Me arm is so elastic
He finzers me right back up to the bar

And every time I tried to make me exit
The barman pours another pint of brown
And when he starts to fill it
I'm afraid that he might spill it
So me rubber arm will make me drink it down

Oh will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Rubber arm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Sure, what's the harm!)

Oh will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Oh will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Rubber arm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Sure, what's the harm!)

Well the party needs a designated driver
So I raised me rubber arm to volunteer
How could I have known that it had acted on its own
And poured itself another pint of beer?

Now my doctor says that he could amputate it
And it would handle my affliction like a charm
But they cut off the other
Replaced it with another
And now I've got a second rubber arm

Oh will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Rubber arm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Sure, what's the harm!)

Oh will you now?
(No, I can't!)
Sure you can!
(Sure, what's the harm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Rubber arm!)
Ah, go on and twist me rubber arm
(Sure, what's the harm!)