A Conversation I Overheard

You're so cute
That I'm always
Crying out to you
You keep the spiders
Crawling up my legs
And making homes
Where my tights rip

I don't like that
Like your ignorance (haha)
Spider bites hurt
But a kiss is always fun
It's exactly what I wanted
It's exactly what I-

She's getting very close
Sometimes I know I'm wrong
Okay, I'm wrong a lot of times
But maybe
This time is different
But I definitely know
That I can hold it out now

I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked up client

But he says
"Don't you know that
Speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath,"

A waiter comes up
And asks "Oh, what'll it be tonight?"
She licks her lips and with a wink
She says, almost knowing there'll be a reaction
"Something juicy,"
I'm sure, I'm sure

Do you have something I can take home
And leave in my fridge for about six or seven years
And bring it out and it'll still be tender?
Something I can cut without a knife?
I'm thinking sorbet, sorbet

How could I forget?
It's cold to the tongue
And it's cold to the touch
"You're gonna get a headache
If you keep eating that all day,"
I don't care anyway

She's getting very close
Sometimes I know I'm wrong
Okay, I'm wrong a lot of times
But maybe
This time is different
But I definitely know that I can hold it out now

I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked up client

But he says
"Don't you know that
Speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath,"

Okay, so across the table
He wags his big finger and says
With maybe just an ounce of condemnation
"That kind of diet is lacking nutrition
You know that I love you
It's sad that you're missing
Out on this banquet to eat
Fucking ice off the floor"

My waiter is standing there across the room
He's crying his eyes out
Wishing he could go home and kiss his wife

But this spectacle is
Out of his control sadly
So he just stands there
And waits it out and
Picks up all the rest of the ice cream
When they've both left

She's getting very close
Sometimes I know I'm wrong
Okay, I'm wrong a lot of times but maybe
This time is different
But I definitely know that I can't hold it out now

I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked up client

But he says
"Don't you know that
Speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath,"

I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked up client

But he says
"Don't you know that
Speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath,"