Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Truth so Help Your Black Ass
๐ต 2624 characters
โฑ๏ธ 4:34 duration
๐ ID: 1056887
๐ Lyrics
When I was six years old my sister Alyson
Asked for a stove for her birthday
A miniature one you could actually cook with
And my mom was nice and she bought one
Alyson needed a reason to bake something
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said:
"I made a cake and we're going next door
To Sam Weinstein's and you're getting married"
The cake was burned
It tasted gross
She made me kiss him
On the mouth
Now I am 33
Unmarried happily
No plans in life and I'm planning to keep it that way
I do kissing with only one mission
Do you like to kiss? Then you have my permission
And I have already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I just want to make out all the time
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
When i was nine i was kind of a loser
The kids in my class didn't like me
Melanie chow was the meanest of all
And my mom made me go to her party
Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
Drawing with crayons on a napkin
A picture of Melanie skewered with a pitchfork
Her legs getting eaten by lions
The cake was good
I took some home
I had a party
In my room
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
Yes that's how I like it
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
But I don't have to talk to you
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
Picking up tips from the masters
I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
Now I'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
I don't make love now to make people love me
But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
And
When I was 25 I was a rock star
But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
Baby they'd never know
What a bargain they'd gotten
And if I'm forgotten
I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I want to drink alone dressed like a pirate
Or look like a dyke
Or wear high heels and lipstick
Or hide in a convent
Or try to be mayor
Or marry a writer
Smoke crack and slash tires
Make jokes you don't like
Or paint ducks and retire
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
Asked for a stove for her birthday
A miniature one you could actually cook with
And my mom was nice and she bought one
Alyson needed a reason to bake something
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said:
"I made a cake and we're going next door
To Sam Weinstein's and you're getting married"
The cake was burned
It tasted gross
She made me kiss him
On the mouth
Now I am 33
Unmarried happily
No plans in life and I'm planning to keep it that way
I do kissing with only one mission
Do you like to kiss? Then you have my permission
And I have already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I just want to make out all the time
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
When i was nine i was kind of a loser
The kids in my class didn't like me
Melanie chow was the meanest of all
And my mom made me go to her party
Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
Drawing with crayons on a napkin
A picture of Melanie skewered with a pitchfork
Her legs getting eaten by lions
The cake was good
I took some home
I had a party
In my room
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
Yes that's how I like it
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
Yes I come here often
Sure I'll have another one
But I don't have to talk to you
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
Picking up tips from the masters
I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
Now I'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
I don't make love now to make people love me
But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
And
When I was 25 I was a rock star
But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
Baby they'd never know
What a bargain they'd gotten
And if I'm forgotten
I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
And I've already spent too much time
Doing things I didn't want to
So if I want to drink alone dressed like a pirate
Or look like a dyke
Or wear high heels and lipstick
Or hide in a convent
Or try to be mayor
Or marry a writer
Smoke crack and slash tires
Make jokes you don't like
Or paint ducks and retire
You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:15.67] When I was six years old my sister Alyson
[00:19.49] Asked for a stove for her birthday
[00:22.88] A miniature one you could actually cook with
[00:26.02] And my mom was nice and she bought one
[00:30.22] Alyson needed a reason to bake something
[00:33.18] Barged in my room and she grabbed me
[00:36.69] She said:
[00:37.70] "I made a cake and we're going next door
[00:38.30] To Sam Weinstein's and you're getting married"
[00:43.66] The cake was burned
[00:46.43] It tasted gross
[00:49.76] She made me kiss him
[00:53.82] On the mouth
[01:01.65] Now I am 33
[01:05.15] Unmarried happily
[01:06.48] No plans in life and I'm planning to keep it that way
[01:10.08] I do kissing with only one mission
[01:12.96] Do you like to kiss? Then you have my permission
[01:16.78] And I have already spent too much time
[01:21.46] Doing things I didn't want to
[01:23.82] So if I just want to make out all the time
[01:27.71] You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
[01:33.85] When i was nine i was kind of a loser
[01:36.34] The kids in my class didn't like me
[01:39.78] Melanie chow was the meanest of all
[01:42.65] And my mom made me go to her party
[01:46.69] Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
[01:49.92] Drawing with crayons on a napkin
[01:53.28] A picture of Melanie skewered with a pitchfork
[01:56.63] Her legs getting eaten by lions
[02:00.08] The cake was good
[02:02.55] I took some home
[02:06.03] I had a party
[02:10.17] In my room
[02:14.77] Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
[02:17.46] But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
[02:20.76] And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
[02:25.76] Yes that's how I like it
[02:28.05] And I've already spent too much time
[02:32.56] Doing things I didn't want to
[02:35.22] So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
[02:39.29] You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
[02:43.03] Yes I come here often
[02:49.65] Sure I'll have another one
[02:55.04] Yes I come here often
[02:55.48] Sure I'll have another one
[02:55.73] But I don't have to talk to you
[02:57.52] When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
[02:59.54] Picking up tips from the masters
[03:03.40] I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
[03:10.08] Now I'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
[03:13.77] I don't make love now to make people love me
[03:16.52] But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
[03:19.83] We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
[03:23.52] And
[03:24.11] When I was 25 I was a rock star
[03:26.69] But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
[03:30.41] Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
[03:34.53] Baby they'd never know
[03:36.47] What a bargain they'd gotten
[03:38.55] And if I'm forgotten
[03:40.02] I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
[03:43.42] And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
[03:46.88] I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
[03:50.59] And I've already spent too much time
[03:54.30] Doing things I didn't want to
[03:58.03] So if I want to drink alone dressed like a pirate
[04:02.26] Or look like a dyke
[04:03.76] Or wear high heels and lipstick
[04:05.89] Or hide in a convent
[04:07.72] Or try to be mayor
[04:09.48] Or marry a writer
[04:11.58] Smoke crack and slash tires
[04:13.76] Make jokes you don't like
[04:15.83] Or paint ducks and retire
[04:20.13] You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
[04:23.24]
[00:19.49] Asked for a stove for her birthday
[00:22.88] A miniature one you could actually cook with
[00:26.02] And my mom was nice and she bought one
[00:30.22] Alyson needed a reason to bake something
[00:33.18] Barged in my room and she grabbed me
[00:36.69] She said:
[00:37.70] "I made a cake and we're going next door
[00:38.30] To Sam Weinstein's and you're getting married"
[00:43.66] The cake was burned
[00:46.43] It tasted gross
[00:49.76] She made me kiss him
[00:53.82] On the mouth
[01:01.65] Now I am 33
[01:05.15] Unmarried happily
[01:06.48] No plans in life and I'm planning to keep it that way
[01:10.08] I do kissing with only one mission
[01:12.96] Do you like to kiss? Then you have my permission
[01:16.78] And I have already spent too much time
[01:21.46] Doing things I didn't want to
[01:23.82] So if I just want to make out all the time
[01:27.71] You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
[01:33.85] When i was nine i was kind of a loser
[01:36.34] The kids in my class didn't like me
[01:39.78] Melanie chow was the meanest of all
[01:42.65] And my mom made me go to her party
[01:46.69] Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
[01:49.92] Drawing with crayons on a napkin
[01:53.28] A picture of Melanie skewered with a pitchfork
[01:56.63] Her legs getting eaten by lions
[02:00.08] The cake was good
[02:02.55] I took some home
[02:06.03] I had a party
[02:10.17] In my room
[02:14.77] Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
[02:17.46] But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
[02:20.76] And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
[02:25.76] Yes that's how I like it
[02:28.05] And I've already spent too much time
[02:32.56] Doing things I didn't want to
[02:35.22] So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
[02:39.29] You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
[02:43.03] Yes I come here often
[02:49.65] Sure I'll have another one
[02:55.04] Yes I come here often
[02:55.48] Sure I'll have another one
[02:55.73] But I don't have to talk to you
[02:57.52] When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
[02:59.54] Picking up tips from the masters
[03:03.40] I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
[03:10.08] Now I'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
[03:13.77] I don't make love now to make people love me
[03:16.52] But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
[03:19.83] We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
[03:23.52] And
[03:24.11] When I was 25 I was a rock star
[03:26.69] But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
[03:30.41] Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
[03:34.53] Baby they'd never know
[03:36.47] What a bargain they'd gotten
[03:38.55] And if I'm forgotten
[03:40.02] I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
[03:43.42] And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
[03:46.88] I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
[03:50.59] And I've already spent too much time
[03:54.30] Doing things I didn't want to
[03:58.03] So if I want to drink alone dressed like a pirate
[04:02.26] Or look like a dyke
[04:03.76] Or wear high heels and lipstick
[04:05.89] Or hide in a convent
[04:07.72] Or try to be mayor
[04:09.48] Or marry a writer
[04:11.58] Smoke crack and slash tires
[04:13.76] Make jokes you don't like
[04:15.83] Or paint ducks and retire
[04:20.13] You can bet your black ass that I'm going to
[04:23.24]