Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" By Coolio)
๐ต 2427 characters
โฑ๏ธ 3:20 duration
๐ ID: 1003084
๐ Lyrics
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin' in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin' in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:13.00] As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
[00:16.08] I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
[00:19.08] But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
[00:22.05] You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
[00:24.04] At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
[00:27.09] Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
[00:31.04] And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
[00:34.01] Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
[00:36.09] I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
[00:39.05] Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
[00:42.02] But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
[00:46.02] Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
[00:49.04] We been spending most our lives
[00:52.08] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[00:55.04] I churned butter once or twice
[00:57.08] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[01:01.04] It's hard work and sacrifice
[01:03.04] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[01:06.09] We sell quilts at discount price
[01:09.09] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[01:12.05] A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
[01:15.04] I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
[01:18.01] I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
[01:21.03] 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
[01:24.06] But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
[01:27.05] An Amish with a 'tude?
[01:29.05] You know that's unheard of
[01:30.00] I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
[01:33.06] And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
[01:36.00] If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
[01:39.09] We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
[01:42.06] But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
[01:45.08] We're just technologically impaired
[01:47.07] There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
[01:50.02] Not a single luxury
[01:53.02] Like Robinson Crusoe
[01:56.07] It's as primitive as can be
[02:00.06] We been spending most our lives
[02:03.04] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:06.06] We're just plain and simple guys
[02:08.01] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:12.06] There's no time for sin and vice
[02:14.08] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:17.06] We don't fight, we all play nice
[02:20.05] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:23.03] Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
[02:27.04] Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
[02:29.00] Think you're really righteous?
[02:31.08] Think you're pure in heart?
[02:32.04] Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
[02:35.09] I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
[02:38.03] On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
[02:41.08] So don't be vain and don't be whiny
[02:44.01] Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
[02:47.06] We been spending most our lives
[02:50.05] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:53.06] We're all crazy Mennonites
[02:56.02] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:59.05] There's no cops or traffic lights
[03:02.03] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[03:05.02] But you'd probably think it bites
[03:08.04] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[03:10.30]
[00:16.08] I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
[00:19.08] But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
[00:22.05] You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
[00:24.04] At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows
[00:27.09] Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
[00:31.04] And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
[00:34.01] Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
[00:36.09] I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
[00:39.05] Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
[00:42.02] But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
[00:46.02] Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699
[00:49.04] We been spending most our lives
[00:52.08] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[00:55.04] I churned butter once or twice
[00:57.08] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[01:01.04] It's hard work and sacrifice
[01:03.04] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[01:06.09] We sell quilts at discount price
[01:09.09] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[01:12.05] A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
[01:15.04] I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
[01:18.01] I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
[01:21.03] 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
[01:24.06] But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
[01:27.05] An Amish with a 'tude?
[01:29.05] You know that's unheard of
[01:30.00] I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
[01:33.06] And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
[01:36.00] If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
[01:39.09] We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
[01:42.06] But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
[01:45.08] We're just technologically impaired
[01:47.07] There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
[01:50.02] Not a single luxury
[01:53.02] Like Robinson Crusoe
[01:56.07] It's as primitive as can be
[02:00.06] We been spending most our lives
[02:03.04] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:06.06] We're just plain and simple guys
[02:08.01] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:12.06] There's no time for sin and vice
[02:14.08] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:17.06] We don't fight, we all play nice
[02:20.05] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:23.03] Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
[02:27.04] Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
[02:29.00] Think you're really righteous?
[02:31.08] Think you're pure in heart?
[02:32.04] Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
[02:35.09] I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
[02:38.03] On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife
[02:41.08] So don't be vain and don't be whiny
[02:44.01] Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
[02:47.06] We been spending most our lives
[02:50.05] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:53.06] We're all crazy Mennonites
[02:56.02] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[02:59.05] There's no cops or traffic lights
[03:02.03] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[03:05.02] But you'd probably think it bites
[03:08.04] Livin' in an Amish paradise
[03:10.30]